How We've Done It So Far

How We've Done It So Far

Ages 0-2:

Be an example of love, kindness, good manners, cleanliness, hard work, courtesy, hospitality, respect, etc. This is the time to start forming good habits and conduct (mostly within ourselves rather than in our children). From the very beginning, set a high standard of conduct (that means: live a high standard of conduct yourself). Make sure that your home is extremely clean and well-ordered. At this age, children are more prone to taking toys out rather than cleaning them up. But we found that we didn't even need to teach our children directly about cleaning up toys - when we were an example of this, they eventually followed our behaviour when they were developmentally capable of putting toys away. So, remember to put away one set of toys before doing something else to start training your children about cleanliness and orderliness. With patience, over time, you will see them following your actions. This principle of being a good example applies to every aspect of your lives. We have discovered that when we became short-tempered and less kind/joyful/loving with our children, they also acted that way towards us (which creates a vicious cycle of bad behaviour from everyone). We found that our children's behaviour often reflected the level of our joy, love, and kindness towards them (especially while correcting inappropriate behaviour and teaching). Your children will behave the way you do (but also without any self-discipline, self-restraint, consideration for others or wisdom to control their behaviour). Develop a daily routine for you and your children. Develop a daily spiritual routine that includes your children. Say morning and evening prayers with your baby (we sing/chant the majority of our prayers). Have them watch you perform your ablutions and daily obligatory prayer. We found that with this age group, it is best to have a repertoire of a few prayers which are said on a regular basis. Children love repetition and predictability at this age and this will help the child memorize the prayers - even before they can speak. Read to them stories from the book: Stories of `Abdu'l-Baha, by Jacqueline Mehrabi. Include your children in Baha'i community life. Bring them to Feasts, Holy Day celebrations, and other Baha'i meetings.

Ages 2-4:

Once your child can speak, it is time for them to participate actively in daily prayers. You should help your child learn to memorize one prayer at a time. We chose short prayers (because children's attention spans are short) and we taught them all as songs (chanting). Say the prayer the child is learning every time you pray together until your child joins in and then can say it by themselves, then start teaching them another one but regularly review the ones they've already learned. Our son, Justice, memorized six prayers between the ages of two and three. Remember to keep teaching them new prayers once they've mastered the one you're working on - they have a remarkable capacity for memorization. Justice could often learn a prayer within less than a week. Children are also now capable of learning how to sit nicely during prayers (although usually only for short periods of time). We are forgiving occasionally on sitting well and quietly for prayers because it is still difficult for children at this age, but our son has done remarkably well. We read to our children a Hidden Word during evening prayers and a short Writing of Baha'u'llah during morning prayers. I looked through the Writings of Baha'u'llah and selected single sentences that conveyed a clear, concrete idea or principle. I printed them onto cards (about the size of a business card). I also put a pretty sticker on the back of each card for fun for the children. After reading a Writing, I restate it in words and ideas that I know my child is capable of understanding. I also try to explain the meaning of difficult words. I have also made for my son his own book of Baha'u'llah's Writings. The print is large, the Writings are age-appropriate, and each page has an illustration related to the Writing.Children can also begin to memorize the Writings of Baha'u'llah. We have chosen single sentences that convey a clear and concrete idea or principle and have chosen topics which are related to laws, principles and teachings which we are currently trying to teach our children. We read a story about a member of the Holy family during morning prayers. The stories came from the books: The Love of Baha'u'llah by Jacqueline Mehrabi, Stories of `Abdu'l-Baha by Jacqueline Mehrabi, and Stories of the Greatest Holy Leaf by Jacqueline Mehrabi. This helps children develop a loving relationship with the members of the Holy family, teaches them how to be a good Baha'i, and teaches them about the history of the Baha'i Faith. We are trying to instill the love of God into our children by asking them to thank God for something during evening prayers. For example: "I thank God for being able to spend time reading with Daddy today." We are bringing ourselves to account each day during evening prayers by talking about what we would like to do better tomorrow and using a positive affirmation. For example: "What did you have trouble with today?" "I hit Haifa." "How can we do better tomorrow? Maybe by being gentle, loving, and peaceful?" "Yeah" "Say: I will try to be more gentle, loving, and peaceful tomorrow." "I will try to be more gentle, loving, and peaceful tomorrow." Our children regularly attend Baha'i Childrens Classes. This is really good for them to meet other Baha'i children and develop friendships and to develop a Baha'i community life.

Age 4:

We have started to use the Family Virtues Guide by Dan and Linda Popov. We bought a paper tree from Office Depot and have written the virtues on apples and leaves to put on the tree. Once a week we start a new virtue. Every day we read one page from the Family Virtues Guide and say the affirmation related to the virtue. We also read stories from Vignettes of `Abdu'l-Baha related to the virtue we are learning. I have been pleasantly surprised at how effective this program is. I love it. Along with our other homeschooling subjects, we have a daily spiritual lesson. This class involves memorizing prayers, Holy Writings, and Baha'i songs. Currently, Justice is making a scrapbook of all the prayers and Writings he has memorized. An easy way for your child to make their own prayer book is to use a binder, three-hole punch colored construction paper, print out the prayers and Writings they have memorized in large print, one on each page, cut out the prayer, have the child glue it to the colored paper, give them a sheet of stickers to decorate the page. Every evening, while the kids are falling asleep (all tucked in and lights out) I read to them from Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah. They love it. It has a spiritual effect on them to hear the Words of God and it will accustom them to the language style.

Age 5:

We have started to memorize the Kitab-i-Aqdas (The Most Holy Book) one paragraph at a time. We have organized the paragraphs of the Kitab-i-Aqdas from shortest to longest. We've printed one paragraph per page starting with a very large font and as the paragraphs get longer the font gets smaller. We've put each page, one by one, into a binder, as they are memorized. We recite one every morning and evening during prayers until it is memorized, then a new page is added to the binder and we start learning that one. We learn to memorize it by repeating short phrases. So I would say "Wash your feet", my son would say "Wash your feet", I would say "once every day", he would say "once every day", etc. We are also memorizing Hidden Words one at a time.

Age 7:

Every evening we are reading a Writing of Baha'u'llah and we discuss the meaning of difficult words and the meaning of the quote and how we can put it into practice/ what it looks like in our own lives.